Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10729) - you deserved it (1763)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

#21461377
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (620)

On 08/27/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by PositiveElectron - United States (Virginia)

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9479) - you deserved it (28260)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

#21461568
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8190) - you deserved it (695)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

#21460859
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8010) - you deserved it (32904)

On 08/26/2015 at 6:25am - love - by chiara (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

#21461585
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7391) - you deserved it (1003)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:13am - health - by unsuckable (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

#21461576
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7227) - you deserved it (874)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

#21461344
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5476) - you deserved it (16380)

On 08/27/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by O0hdear - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over 2 weeks, dead on my roof. FML

#21461653
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2292) - you deserved it (139)

On 08/28/2015 at 9:20am - animals - by SadDogOwner - United States

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2157) - you deserved it (164)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

#21461594
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2013) - you deserved it (163)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: