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November 2014

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Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16368) - you deserved it (29975)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16128) - you deserved it (1562)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation,, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

#21307421
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15172) - you deserved it (1349)

On 11/28/2014 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while at work, I really had to pee. Since my break was soon, I decided to hold it as another customer came to my till, but I didn't see she had 3 trolleys full of food. It took ages to scan all of it, and when I left for my break, I had an empty bladder and a wet seat. FML

#21307515
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10888) - you deserved it (2198)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:27pm - work - by I'm so wet, baby - United Kingdom

Today, I was locked out of my house. As I was about to knock on the window to ask my girlfriend to let me in, I saw her on the sofa, digging a huge booger out of her nose and eating it. FML

#21307507
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10894) - you deserved it (1288)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

#21307548
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (731)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:43pm - misc - by bullah007 (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

#21307526
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6119) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm - kids - by Ruinedchristmas (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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