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March 2015

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Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

#21383398
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14495) - you deserved it (1209)

On 03/29/2015 at 2:38am - misc - by Kryometric - United States (Washington)

Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML

#21368562
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14305) - you deserved it (42533)

On 03/05/2015 at 9:32am - misc - by jlol - United States

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (48602)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13885) - you deserved it (1129)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (30270)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

#21383487
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7670) - you deserved it (480)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6556) - you deserved it (1539)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5961) - you deserved it (3057)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost a grade on an essay, because according to my teacher, I put much more detail into my analytical essay than I should have. FML

#21371844
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10) - you deserved it (2634)

On 03/10/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by writerflaw - United States (Alaska)

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

#21370369
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6) - you deserved it (1)

On 03/08/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

#21369958
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7) - you deserved it (2)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10) - you deserved it (45203)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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Friday 27 March 2015

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