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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41283) - you deserved it (2578)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I borrowed my friend's car to go deliver a tent I sold online. His possessive girlfriend tailed me, not knowing I was driving. She then rear-ended me when I stopped, thinking I was her man, and was cheating. When she realized the situation, she accused me of hiding him. FML

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41006) - you deserved it (3564)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40989) - you deserved it (5200)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, a customer threw his hot coffee all over me, because it was taking "too long" for their credit card to be approved. FML

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40845) - you deserved it (2711)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40776) - you deserved it (2859)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40723) - you deserved it (5080)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (5723)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (5847)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (2624)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (8462)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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