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September 2014

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Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38551) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38396) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38219) - you deserved it (3398)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37930) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37823) - you deserved it (2517)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37735) - you deserved it (3378)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37659) - you deserved it (3346)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a guy tried to pick me up with the line, "You're ugly. Just kidding. You're my date." FML

Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

#21254331
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37479) - you deserved it (3318)

On 09/08/2014 at 6:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I'm precisely one month away from graduating with a degree in translation for the sole purpose of becoming a state-authorised translator. Today, I also discovered that my government has just decided to abandon the concept of authorisation for translators. FML

#21257358
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (2693)

On 09/13/2014 at 7:03am - work - by stupidgov (woman) - Italy

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (2294)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)



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