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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35704) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35686) - you deserved it (4375)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

#21275034
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35478) - you deserved it (5575)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by TalkDirtyToMe - New Zealand

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35384) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (4190)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (4820)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35063) - you deserved it (2819)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35026) - you deserved it (3004)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34978) - you deserved it (2714)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (4004)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (15694)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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