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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spotted an elderly man trying to use the ladder at work. Knowing customers aren't supposed to use these, I went over and helped. Not only did I fall from the ladder, but I landed on the old man's foot, breaking my elbow and fracturing his toe. FML

#21452513
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20559) - you deserved it (2839)

On 08/06/2015 at 12:10am - work - by ilovebigmacs - United States (California)

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

#21462073
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (2832)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (2092)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

#21458720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (14472)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by technicallywroteabook (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (1522)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I signed the lease on my first apartment alone with my boyfriend. We've lived here a month before we got to sign. Today is also the day my neighbors decided to show how they're night owls: all I hear is banging on the walls and them loudly talking and yelling. This will be a long year. FML

#21454658
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20459) - you deserved it (1611)

On 08/11/2015 at 3:43am - misc - by ZombieGirl - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (2050)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

#21461322
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20446) - you deserved it (1317)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by lefthandspanker (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror and she quickly excused herself. That was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

#21460121
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (2102)

On 08/24/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I also needed to add, "Does not currently live in a psychiatric hospital, after being declared 'Not criminally responsible for a crime'" to my list of qualities that I want in a man. FML

#21451515
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (2013)

On 08/03/2015 at 9:43pm - love - by whyyyyyme (woman) - Canada

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20292) - you deserved it (6960)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20283) - you deserved it (3549)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)



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