Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22731) - you deserved it (2695)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (3479)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (40412)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (25429)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

#21267816
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17238) - you deserved it (2656)

On 09/29/2014 at 6:04pm - love - by inmycar - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML

#21256258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17202) - you deserved it (46138)

On 09/11/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by hockusa3 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

#21251320
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16746) - you deserved it (31242)

On 09/03/2014 at 6:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16361) - you deserved it (23121)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

#21268173
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15952) - you deserved it (1722) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm - kids - by super maman - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15555) - you deserved it (35909)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9890) - you deserved it (15546)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3229) - you deserved it (285)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: