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February 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20277) - you deserved it (8970)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20099) - you deserved it (12432)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19747) - you deserved it (35849)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19078) - you deserved it (1745)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (1511)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (35268)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you deserved it (1566)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I've been freezing in my office for days at work. When I finally complained about it to a coworker, she led me into my office, said, "Let me show you something," then pointed out the thermostat I'd never noticed was even there and turned it up with a pitying look. FML

#21358000
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17521) - you deserved it (22985)

On 02/17/2015 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17048) - you deserved it (2995)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16929) - you deserved it (29051)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16500) - you deserved it (3267)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

#21348837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16013) - you deserved it (29332)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)



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  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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