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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (5627)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (1320)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (31599)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16662) - you deserved it (41578)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16649) - you deserved it (13414)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

#21399007
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (8572)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm - misc - by Kira (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16214) - you deserved it (21330)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (31716)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14605) - you deserved it (37149)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

#21399405
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (1289)

On 04/25/2015 at 8:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14093) - you deserved it (2069)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13607) - you deserved it (941)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)



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