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May 2016

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Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

by WellThatSucks / 05/23/2016 at 5:15am / United States / Animals

Today, my phone charger caught fire. I was thankful to be there to witness it. I was not thankful for having been holding it while this happened, as my shirt caught on fire. FML

by ShandiPandiDerp / 05/20/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that it's possible to make your sister so mad that she scoops the litter box and hides the contents around your room. FML

Today, is my high school graduation. Last night I read online that you can use apple cider vinegar to help with head dandruff, so I tried it out. Now, no matter how much product or perfume I use, I still smell like a giant walking fart. My graduation is in a couple of hours. FML

by cass / 05/10/2016 at 2:37pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML

by sociallyawkward / 05/18/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, I met with my boss hoping to hear about a possible raise that had been promised many months ago. He then told me that the only way I would get a raise was if I found a better paying job and took it, and that the company was in no position to offer anyone a raise. FML

by AverageDeskJoe / 05/03/2016 at 4:43pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

by chickenshit4 / 05/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm so lonely, I wrote my number on a desk at my university, hoping someone would text me. FML

by insurgent / 05/03/2016 at 4:31am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Love

Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year-old grand-daughter let her pet rabbit loose in the yard, while my 2 year-old grandson was trying to climb on a chair, then a table. I had to choose between catching the rabbit before it ran under the fence, or saving my grandson from falling on the concrete terrace. FML

by arianelagolden / 05/05/2016 at 2:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my 9-year-old sister to an ice cream shop. There we met a boy about her age, who started a conversation with her, told her she was pretty and they ended up exchanging numbers. I'm 24 and so far I've never succeeded at getting a girl's number like this. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 6:30am / Ukraine / Love

Today, a very attractive man asked me out on a date, and I said yes. He is tall, charming and a very good kisser. I'm sure the woman he heavily made out with after I left would agree. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 11:48am / Love

Today, I'm getting a medical scan, so I had to drink a barium shake for breakfast. It was so disgusting that I puked it back up. Now I have to drink another one. FML

by 1942Ford / 05/07/2016 at 10:08am / United States (California) / Health