Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (14099)
On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States
Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (6698)
On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway
Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36253) - you deserved it (5261)
On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States
Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36107) - you deserved it (6064)
On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36080) - you deserved it (9900)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36058) - you deserved it (3241)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (3928)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35947) - you deserved it (5948)
On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (2918)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35646) - you deserved it (6075)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (4467)
On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (4134)
On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (4892)
On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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