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June 2016

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Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2016 at 5:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML

by AHHH_REPTAR / 06/23/2016 at 12:54am / United States (South Dakota) / Work

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to his house. I was planning on breaking up with him while at his house. Turns out, it was a proposal party. I'm now engaged because it would've been rude to say no in front of his family that had flown in. FML

by anonymous / 06/25/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, while at the airport with a cast on my leg, I fell backwards onto my suitcase. My family was too busy to notice my squirming as I tried to get up, so a kind woman awkwardly helped me off the ground. Later on, I found out my dad saw me but thought someone would help me "soon enough." FML

by kqwarrior / 06/26/2016 at 11:46pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went to a professional development meeting with my boss to discuss how I'm doing and what we want from each other next year. I left without a job. FML

Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML

by Pissed / 06/20/2016 at 3:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I told my friend I'm going vegetarian. He's now calling me "Reek" after the guy from Game of Thrones, because I'm apparently a "dickless loser" now. FML

by Reek / 06/22/2016 at 10:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to take my father to dinner for Father's Day. It all would have gone according to plan, but he saw my Facebook post about a 12-hour stomach virus I had yesterday, so he went out fishing with his friends instead without telling me because he didn't want to catch my "disease." FML

by crispyjello69 / 06/19/2016 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while chopping green chilies, I accidentally rubbed my eyes. It currently feels like Satan pissed hellfire straight into my right eye. FML

by r1has / 06/11/2016 at 10:58pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Health

Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom thought the best way to stop me from taking people to my room was by changing my wallpaper into a nursery-themed one. Now I get to see bunnies, letter blocks and teddy bears all day long. FML

by happiestturtle / 06/08/2016 at 11:21am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took away my car, phone, dog, laptop and college fund because I told her she lets me down sometimes. I'm moving to Arizona for college in two weeks. FML

by sounds good mom / 06/14/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous