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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33676) - you deserved it (21081)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (8259)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (4053)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

#21210701
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4360)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:44am - animals - by ballbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32077) - you deserved it (5229)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (19550)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31688) - you deserved it (16198)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I hit rock bottom; I watched one of those shitty infomercial channels, without even being forced into it at gunpoint. Even worse is that I practically creamed myself over a damn fruit juicer, all because it was 50% off and I could actually afford it. FML

#21198655
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (6421)

On 07/04/2014 at 4:29pm - money - by The Rock's arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (2530)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31209) - you deserved it (4229)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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