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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a conversation with a girl I don't normally talk to. She ended up saying I'm "not as annoying as everyone says." and "Oh... you didn't know?" FML

#21259544
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30121) - you deserved it (2754)

On 09/16/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (7370)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

Today, my co-workers threw me a surprise 30th birthday party. After lighting sparklers on the cake and singing happy birthday, we all enjoyed a few moments of sparkly, happy fun time. Then the building's fire alarm tripped and over 200 people had to be evacuated. FML

#21259630
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29548) - you deserved it (3686)

On 09/16/2014 at 7:23pm - work - by so so old now (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

#21261219
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (2899)

On 09/19/2014 at 12:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (7241)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29046) - you deserved it (4255)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

#21255855
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28775) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/10/2014 at 6:40pm - health - by skinnyguy23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (2043)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28669) - you deserved it (6854)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (4383)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

#21261117
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (4858)

On 09/19/2014 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium



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