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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancée and I were making plans for our wedding when my soon-to-be mother-in-law chimed in with, "You know, she can still get out of this. I got the dress for her but we can save it for the next guy." I'm not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#21329587
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/02/2015 at 8:46pm - love - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mum sat me down for a serious talk about not being home enough - not because she misses me, but because the family cat needs more stability in her life. FML

#21329522
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27309) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/02/2015 at 7:11pm - animals - by cat co-parent - Australia

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27292) - you deserved it (5579)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML

#21331580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27272) - you deserved it (5096)

On 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm - kids - by i_am_forever - United States (California)

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

#21336281
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (2224)

On 01/13/2015 at 6:06am - misc - by notyourcleaner (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was sitting at my computer, petting one of my cats, who was sitting on my lap. My other cat got jealous and tried to climb onto my lap as well. They ended up fighting. I was wearing shorts. FML

#21333736
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (3671)

On 01/09/2015 at 1:44am - animals - by Crazy Cat Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (4038)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (2347)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21332211
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (3647)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to sext before going to sleep. It was very late, but I said I'd stay up for him. He sent a text asking me if I was ready. Me replying "yes" was the last thing I remember before I fell asleep on my horny boyfriend. FML

#21334154
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (7993)

On 01/09/2015 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (3293)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27072) - you deserved it (4069)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

#21339220
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (7270)

On 01/17/2015 at 10:45pm - misc - by Help Me (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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