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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

#21404242
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (2187)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by double trouble -

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (6983)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

#21404461
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm - misc - by to_complicated_4_u - United States (New York)

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

#21403055
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (2682)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML

#21410882
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31488) - you deserved it (4830)

On 05/16/2015 at 7:47am - animals - by yif2 (woman) - United States

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (5278)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (4288)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (4345)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (2502)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

#21410748
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30866) - you deserved it (2339)

On 05/15/2015 at 10:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

#21410631
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (1802)

On 05/15/2015 at 6:26pm - money - by that was mine - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML

#21410572
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (2539)

On 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by nazirah4shizzle (woman) - United States

Today, I got yelled at for 'letting' my muddy dog jump on my cousin's wedding dress as she was getting ready. I don't own a dog and haven't since I was a kid. FML

#21404425
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30803) - you deserved it (1993)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by FMe - United Kingdom



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