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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39663) - you deserved it (3631)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39615) - you deserved it (11031)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (3364)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38846) - you deserved it (7910)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (5066)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38316) - you deserved it (2534)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38041) - you deserved it (7380)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37952) - you deserved it (3360)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37652) - you deserved it (4193)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (3394)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37568) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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