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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

#21291250
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38972) - you deserved it (4542)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by EliseV (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38971) - you deserved it (6188)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38001) - you deserved it (2345)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (4657)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37021) - you deserved it (3626)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML

#21293904
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36940) - you deserved it (3171)

On 11/07/2014 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend came home from college for the first time in weeks just to visit me. I was so excited that I spent two hours getting ready. Turns out he was only coming back to dump me. Now I'm single and out of foundation. FML

#21292231
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (3646)

On 11/04/2014 at 8:16pm - love - by single pringle - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML

#21291068
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (2527)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by literature -

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

#21301904
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36424) - you deserved it (2583)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:27am - love - by MissAggravared - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36315) - you deserved it (9942)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36285) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (2188)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)



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