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January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

#21333313
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36330) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/08/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend's dad called me a whore and said I'm trying to use his son and "steal" his virginity for my own needs. My boyfriend has had sex with over 10 girls and I'm a virgin. FML

#21339329
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36244) - you deserved it (2582)

On 01/18/2015 at 1:29am - intimacy - by virginwhore (woman) -

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36237) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36151) - you deserved it (3079)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

#21330614
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35442) - you deserved it (2967)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:58am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35270) - you deserved it (2351)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

#21337587
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35094) - you deserved it (3846)

On 01/15/2015 at 12:23pm - love - by Can I press charges? (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

#21336664
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34977) - you deserved it (2459)

On 01/13/2015 at 10:05pm - love - by RipeFlame - United States (Florida)

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34918) - you deserved it (4823)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

#21340454
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (4678)

On 01/19/2015 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

#21334608
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34456) - you deserved it (2347)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

#21332565
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (6656)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:11am - misc - by ijustwantpizza - Australia (Queensland)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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