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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43708) - you deserved it (3648)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out I'm failing school. Why am I failing? Because I work 60 hours a week. Why do I work 60 hours a week? To pay for school. FML

#20563641
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43586) - you deserved it (4566)

On 03/28/2013 at 10:26am - work - by school issues - United States

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43427) - you deserved it (4406)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43418) - you deserved it (5352)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML

#20551973
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43373) - you deserved it (6063)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:07am - intimacy - by Why son, why? (man) - United States

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43230) - you deserved it (3274)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43103) - you deserved it (3205)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

#20564361
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43042) - you deserved it (18661)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (3083)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

#20566302
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42525) - you deserved it (3569) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42102) - you deserved it (19317)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (5990)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41690) - you deserved it (15669)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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