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March 2013

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Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy . I couldn't help but correct her . She apologized 4 her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore . FML

#20555528
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42569) - you deserved it (6260)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

2day I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered "Don't bother I'm failing u either way."

#20552400
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42504) - you deserved it (4944)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

2day I realizd that I'm so lonely I can no longerhack off without bursting into tears an crying like a little bitch. FML

#20564779
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42442) - you deserved it (19407)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today , wile aving sex wit ma usband , e went soft. Wen I askd im wat append e said , "I'm about to fall asleep." He ten ploppd down on ma cest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (5552)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cummed home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home mah 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick yur ass." The babby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42164) - you deserved it (5453)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van... knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42130) - you deserved it (3949)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, My Girlfriend Accused Me Of Bieng A Feeder, Saying Tat's Y Se's Been Putting On So Muc Wiegt. Wen I Said It Migt Be Cuz Se Eats At McDonalds Everyday, And Tat I Was Willing To Start Cooking Low-calorie Foods Fir Us, Se It Me. Ten Se Went To McDonalds. FML

#20538059
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42129) - you deserved it (4891)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today I held hands with the boy I like!! Without thinking I commentd that his right hand is softer as if he only usd lotion on that one hand!! And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence!! FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42016) - you deserved it (15733)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, ( Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this. ) The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not wat everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (2477)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today I found a purse in the school bathroom !! When I lookd inside there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it !! I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back !! The owner passd me in the hall on the way there; she freakd out an punchd me in the face !! mega FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41607) - you deserved it (2712)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my nieghborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (23325)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that 4 some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except 4 four, and they are doing there best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40837) - you deserved it (5268)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my pragnancy tast cama back positiva. My boyfriand is no fan of fatharhood, so it was with soma hasitation that I callad him an lat him know I'm pragnant. Ha rapliad, "Lika hall you ara!" an hung up. Ha now rafusas to answar any of my calls. FML

#20543527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (9965)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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