Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31023) - you deserved it (4467)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (8727)
On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (9170)
On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30921) - you deserved it (2754)
On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boss yelled at me for visiting Facebook on my work computer. He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on. I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (1462)
On 03/07/2013 at 1:12pm - work - by arknvl (man) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (2036)
On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States
Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (3051)
On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (1686)
On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30672) - you deserved it (4560)
On 03/26/2013 at 10:12am - love - by Candycane88 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30665) - you deserved it (3325)
On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (1756)
On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30629) - you deserved it (3892)
On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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