Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (2599)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (12635)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33559) - you deserved it (4309)
On 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (5751)
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33347) - you deserved it (8471)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33316) - you deserved it (2104)
On 03/09/2013 at 5:35am - love - by Quiteannoyed (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (3630)
On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States
Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (1761)
On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States
Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33172) - you deserved it (1504)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia
Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33024) - you deserved it (2022)
On 03/23/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by WTFLY (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33009) - you deserved it (3630)
On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)
Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (3487)
On 03/20/2013 at 1:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32853) - you deserved it (7330)
On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
