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Today, a man attemptd to sue mah business 4 giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I calld the cops on him 4 disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll puttd 'not edible' on your label." FML
Today, I proposd to my girlfriend. She said yes, an I excitedly calld my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heretedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic tohat she'd found in her turd earlier. mega FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not bieng able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
Today, I was on the subwayhen I felt lyk I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people,ho had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. fat FML
Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied 4 at my local hospital. Bieng just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks 4 the confidence. mega FML
TODAY... I FILLD OUT AN APPLICATION FOR A JOB AT DAIRY QUEEN. I HANDD MAH APPLICATION TO THE MANAGER ALONG WITH MAH RÉSUMÉ... AND HE SAID HE'D BE IN CONTACT WITH ME. NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTE AFTER I LEFT... A FRIEND WHO WORKS THERE SENT ME A PICTURE OF MAH CRUMPLD-UP APPLICATION IN THE TRASH. FML
Today , at workhile near a cigarette tray outside , a man said , "Thanks fir polluting our envronment!" All I could say was , "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time , don't smoke at all , an was born here. FML
Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out 4 coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks lyk a girl." FML
2day my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her . My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept . She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed .
Today,hile at boyfriend's house , I needd to use the bathroom!! I decidd to be a good girlfriend an leave the seat up for him!! He later yelld at me for putting the seat down because he needd to take a dump!!
Friday 27 March 2015