Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a man attemptd to sue mah business 4 giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I calld the cops on him 4 disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll puttd 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33127) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proposd to my girlfriend. She said yes, an I excitedly calld my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heretedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic tohat she'd found in her turd earlier. mega FML

#20534623
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33111) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not bieng able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (50996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on the subwayhen I felt lyk I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people,ho had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. fat FML

#20554927
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (2840)

On 03/22/2013 at 11:42am - health - by wowthanksworld - United States

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied 4 at my local hospital. Bieng just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks 4 the confidence. mega FML

#20538687
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (2557)

On 03/10/2013 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY... I FILLD OUT AN APPLICATION FOR A JOB AT DAIRY QUEEN. I HANDD MAH APPLICATION TO THE MANAGER ALONG WITH MAH RÉSUMÉ... AND HE SAID HE'D BE IN CONTACT WITH ME. NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTE AFTER I LEFT... A FRIEND WHO WORKS THERE SENT ME A PICTURE OF MAH CRUMPLD-UP APPLICATION IN THE TRASH. FML

#20526818
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32965) - you deserved it (2406)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it an hit me. As I recovered an was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (3438)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today , at workhile near a cigarette tray outside , a man said , "Thanks fir polluting our envronment!" All I could say was , "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time , don't smoke at all , an was born here. FML

#20564434
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (2467)

On 03/28/2013 at 8:57pm - work - by TVKill3r (man) - United States

Yesterday, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out mah knee playing basketball. FML

#20551437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (7478)

On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I advised my daughter to not drink a Coke before bed. She smiled at me an reassured me that it could be balanced out with sleeping pills. I'm raising a future drug addict. FML

#20547328
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32862) - you deserved it (6816)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:25am - kids - by hejdixjeln - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out 4 coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks lyk a girl." FML

#20534087
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32815) - you deserved it (3965)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

2day my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her . My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept . She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed .

#20539958
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (6054)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today,hile at boyfriend's house , I needd to use the bathroom!! I decidd to be a good girlfriend an leave the seat up for him!! He later yelld at me for putting the seat down because he needd to take a dump!!

#20557546
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32786) - you deserved it (8039)

On 03/24/2013 at 3:35am - love - by whatchagonnado - Canada (British Columbia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: