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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

#20566521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (3519)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Beast - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34181) - you deserved it (3362)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML

#20546325
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34145) - you deserved it (15778)

On 03/16/2013 at 4:04pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

#20531130
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34061) - you deserved it (4345)

On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33985) - you deserved it (7178)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33887) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33883) - you deserved it (8803)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, I told my girlfriend I've been a vegetarian for 6 years. Hearing this, my mom said, "No, you're not. I fry your mushrooms and onions in bacon grease." With this new information, I've been a vegetarian for about 76 hours. FML

#20544221
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (8738)

On 03/15/2013 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33683) - you deserved it (15343)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

#20535562
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33649) - you deserved it (2588)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML

#20535997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (5028)

On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)



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