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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (3886)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39807) - you deserved it (16989)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39739) - you deserved it (9223)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39671) - you deserved it (8549) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39570) - you deserved it (2986)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39163) - you deserved it (2599)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39125) - you deserved it (6524)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

#20533543
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (2342)

On 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by disgruntled stepdaughter - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38777) - you deserved it (6690)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

#20547926
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38728) - you deserved it (2876)

On 03/17/2013 at 4:12pm - love - by need an appendickectomy (woman) - Finland

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (4125)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

#20536784
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38671) - you deserved it (15765)

On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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