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March 2013

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Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

#20534364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38408) - you deserved it (2281)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38328) - you deserved it (4538)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38244) - you deserved it (4331)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38211) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (2261)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (4643)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (3102)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (5550)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37946) - you deserved it (12714)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

#20567711
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (2493)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37903) - you deserved it (2752)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (18124)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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