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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (2200)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32774) - you deserved it (1965)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (5379)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (6286)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (2503)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (3715)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31847) - you deserved it (6275)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (1341)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

#20520888
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (2847)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

#20491987
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (1399)

On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31407) - you deserved it (4038)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

#20499258
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31060) - you deserved it (3108)

On 02/09/2013 at 7:00am - intimacy - by Lois - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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