Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21138) - you deserved it (4995)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (10739)
On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21063) - you deserved it (1258)
On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my pants ripped while I was at work. I had to keep my balls to the wall while I dodged customers and edged ever closer to the break room. Before I could call my wife and ask her to bring a new pair, my boss burst in, got pissed, and made me go back out and deal with irate customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21056) - you deserved it (1717)
On 01/31/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by fuckit (man) - Italy (Lazio)
Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21040) - you deserved it (3562)
On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (2534)
Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20922) - you deserved it (1158)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (1645)
On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (7104)
Today, I received a birthday present from a friend. It was the very same gift I gave to her for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (2899)
On 01/28/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by thrifty gone wrong - United States (California)
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (5912)
On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (2239)
On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20686) - you deserved it (1682)
On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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