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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30126) - you deserved it (6235)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

#20478441
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (2120)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29527) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

#20487313
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (2050)

On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (2562)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (2727)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

#20438672
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (6433)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

#20458971
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (5076)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (2145)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29330) - you deserved it (4983)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (4756)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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