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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday, mah boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbd his butt to control his thrust and got a clump of usd toilet paper. FML

#20465889
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60437) - you deserved it (6952)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discoverd after 11 months, my grlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discoverd this by walking in on her and one of my friends. fat FML

#20448085
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57342) - you deserved it (4318)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

today I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. looool And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52634) - you deserved it (3980)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51759) - you deserved it (3988)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of four yeres broke up with me by writing on my bathroom looool mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51594) - you deserved it (4559)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51365) - you deserved it (14511)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

TODAY, I WAS CLEANING ONE OF MAH DISABLED CLIENTS BECAUSE HE POOPED HIMSELF, SO I STARTED TO UNDRESS HIM FIR A SHOWER. I TOOK HIS DIRTY DIAPER OFF AND SET IT ON HIS BED, THEN I BENT OVER TO TAKE OFF HIS SOCKS AT WHICH POINT HE PUT THE DIAPER ON MAH HEAD LYK A HAT. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51188) - you deserved it (4734)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked mah mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50436) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, Mah Hubby Asked 4 A Morning Blow Job, An I Happily Obliged. All Was Going Great Until He Came An Farted At The Same Time. I Laughed An Reassured Him It Was No Big Deal. He Cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (5876)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Yesterday mah boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48441) - you deserved it (5635)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Taday after applying fir a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire ( naturally tan ) people. I'm black. big fat FML

#20470936
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48113) - you deserved it (4081)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss ( borrowd ) my prescription sunglasses off my desk!! She crashd her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay 4 the damages!! FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

DURING MA FIRST DAY AS A MEDICAL INTERN IN A NEW WARD... I WAS PERFORMING A RECTAL EXAM. MY SUPERVISOR TOUGT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO BURST INTO TE ROOM AND SCREAM... "WO R YOU?! YOU DON'T EVEN WORK ERE... YOU PERVERT!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (3574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version



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