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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (4891)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (3048)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (3303)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (2233)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (8937)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27462) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27442) - you deserved it (2288)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

#20463186
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (1534)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (2216) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I got fired from my job because I "look too grumpy." FML

#20437963
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (9110)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (10612)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (2185)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27173) - you deserved it (3962)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)



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