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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (2708)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32822) - you deserved it (4118)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32819) - you deserved it (15406)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32680) - you deserved it (17797)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32629) - you deserved it (4540)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32595) - you deserved it (6023)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32589) - you deserved it (3571)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32552) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (4856)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

#20454746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (8207)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32490) - you deserved it (4944)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32349) - you deserved it (4580) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

#20462065
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (2131)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -



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