Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19500) - you deserved it (3435)
On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19489) - you deserved it (2277)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years old, with no wife or children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19390) - you deserved it (1071)
On 01/06/2013 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (29889)
On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (4097)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18869) - you deserved it (4410)
On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18830) - you deserved it (1232)
Today, while sledding with my daughter, I tried getting her to go down a steeper slope than she's used to. She was worried she'd crash, so I went first to show her how it's done. I lost control halfway down the hill, bailed, and rolled into a tree. My wife has it on video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18808) - you deserved it (9131)
On 01/19/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by Fluffydemise - United States
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (5790)
On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (2182)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18737) - you deserved it (6853)
On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you deserved it (3854)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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