Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (7557)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28001) - you deserved it (2140)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

#20478634
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (1902)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (1870)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (1938)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27782) - you deserved it (3690)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (3534)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (5664)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (6486)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (4574)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27608) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: