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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30033) - you deserved it (3466)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (6739)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (6516)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29864) - you deserved it (4549)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (4742)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29727) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (5924)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (11650)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (2836)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

#20485066
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29428) - you deserved it (2417)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States



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