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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (8759)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32333) - you deserved it (2672)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

#20469230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (4608)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:13am - love - by StillTooYoung (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (4058)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32110) - you deserved it (5470)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (3177)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (4540) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (2824)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you deserved it (3317)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (3548)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31758) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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