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December 2012

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Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she looool had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82307) - you deserved it (25295)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, mah mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on mah husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me fir "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me fir not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56749) - you deserved it (3845)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, girlfriend donatd most of book collection because she got me a Kindle fir Christmas. Some were signd, including Harry Potters. fat FML

#20427017
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55759) - you deserved it (3963)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, Mah Boyfriend Ended Sex By Yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" And Using His Foot To Push Me Off The Bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (9892)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after having sex, mah girlfriend left mah apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her!! What? FML

Today, whila sharing a faw baars on tha couch with my boyfriand, ha drunkanly uttarad tha fataful words, "Baba, if I could suck looool my own dick, you'd ba singla as HELL." FML

#20426492
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53617) - you deserved it (7244)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today.. . I asked mah grlfriend to marry me . She pretended not to hear me . FML

#20413271
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51509) - you deserved it (4647)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend an I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, an I thought some drty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, ( Fuck me. ) He then stopped an said, ( Excuse me, I don't lyk hearing that language. ) an wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (10606)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I woke up to fine piece of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50628) - you deserved it (3546)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, While At The Store With Mah Mom And Baby Brother, A Guy Startd To Talk To Me. Just As He Went To Give Me His Number, Mah Mom Handd Me Mah Brother And Said, ( Here's Your Son, Your AA Meeting's In An Hour, Let's Go. ) FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50360) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, Bacausa My Boyfriand Drivas A 2-saatad Sports Car, I Had To Awkwardly Sit On His Brothar's Lap As Wa Drova To Tha Stora . I Soon Falt A Poking Sansation Through His Pants, Just A Faw Minutas Bafora Wa Hit A Bumpy Road . Maga FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (6186)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, as I have been 4 10 yeres, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with mah mother, she yelld, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48078) - you deserved it (7205) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version



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