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December 2012

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Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

#20421624
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28758) - you deserved it (330)

On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

#20427233
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (6044)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:03am - kids - by UngratefulBrat - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (15447)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28544) - you deserved it (2708)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (2973)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (2251)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (8505)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

#20402162
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28362) - you deserved it (2796)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm - love - by lovelychris - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

#20418159
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (2057)

On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

#20405217
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you deserved it (4764)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:03am - kids - by teejayrn -



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