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December 2012

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Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10945) - you deserved it (21038)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10936) - you deserved it (57873)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

#20412747
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10792) - you deserved it (44215)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:01am - love - by Stupid Drunk - United States

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10785) - you deserved it (74203)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10696) - you deserved it (36829)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10425) - you deserved it (35396)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML

#20408937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10239) - you deserved it (28389)

On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10212) - you deserved it (34622)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML

#20190915
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10207) - you deserved it (27727)

On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10200) - you deserved it (31244)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML

#20416791
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10128) - you deserved it (32434)

On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9617) - you deserved it (27274)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

#20434482
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9548) - you deserved it (21645)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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