Today, I made a positive remark to the owner of my local groceries store for employing a special needs girl. Not only is the girl not mentally handicapped, she's also the owner's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8350) - you deserved it (22754)
On 12/04/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Vassy (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you deserved it (20028)
On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8303) - you deserved it (22233)
On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (10149)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8253) - you deserved it (25693)
On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8252) - you deserved it (24821)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (54777)
On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7844) - you deserved it (23923)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States
Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you deserved it (22007)
On 12/23/2012 at 5:24pm - misc - by you fuckhobbit (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7548) - you deserved it (17036)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7538) - you deserved it (18493)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7363) - you deserved it (50241)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7156) - you deserved it (44547)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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