Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19449) - you deserved it (5212)
On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19329) - you deserved it (4296)
On 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan)
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19298) - you deserved it (1324)
On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)
Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19282) - you deserved it (5054)
On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19246) - you deserved it (1731)
On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19246) - you deserved it (8566)
On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (1115)
On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States
Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (1478)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (4158)
On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)
Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18900) - you deserved it (2167)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18807) - you deserved it (3642)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you deserved it (1812)
On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18693) - you deserved it (1027)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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