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December 2012

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Today, my trunk froze shut with my Christmas presents inside. Since it was still shut, I went to the store. When I came out, some ice had melted and the trunk had popped open. All of my gifts were gone. FML

#20426934
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (4980)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by wheresmysweater - United States (North Carolina)

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (3899)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

#20422616
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35959) - you deserved it (3533)

On 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (4224)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35824) - you deserved it (3989)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (26391)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

#20411217
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35702) - you deserved it (17879)

On 12/21/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by Syd - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

#20425281
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35525) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35496) - you deserved it (9611)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35455) - you deserved it (5573)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (2956)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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