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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (3327)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20258) - you deserved it (3573)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (2019)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20155) - you deserved it (1567)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20129) - you deserved it (1733)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

#20397879
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20095) - you deserved it (2044)

On 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (2410)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (5133)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (2091)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19901) - you deserved it (1769)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19812) - you deserved it (33229) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19688) - you deserved it (1848)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19537) - you deserved it (2088)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States



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