Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20886) - you deserved it (2461)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (1766)
On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (2012)
On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20720) - you deserved it (1796)
On 12/15/2012 at 1:11am - money - by elphi (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (3709) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20652) - you deserved it (4923)
Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (1101)
On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (7657)
On 12/10/2012 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by hnickell93 - United States (California)
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (7412)
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (1931)
On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (5875)
On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (3401)
On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20349) - you deserved it (1547)
On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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