Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25184) - you deserved it (7590)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25113) - you deserved it (2568)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (9323)
On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24936) - you deserved it (4514)
On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (3855)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24798) - you deserved it (1612)
On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (1718)
On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (2448)
On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (4375)
On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (16493)
On 12/14/2012 at 8:45am - intimacy - by ToughTitties (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24487) - you deserved it (9699)
On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24443) - you deserved it (2036)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (2612)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
