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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (6527)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

#20143313
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30716) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30539) - you deserved it (1786)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30519) - you deserved it (3116)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (3499)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30298) - you deserved it (3364)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30270) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30216) - you deserved it (2516)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30191) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30121) - you deserved it (4866)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -



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