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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (2366)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (3363)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (5679)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (2513)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

#20142562
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (4862)

On 11/01/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by NoSpirit (woman) -

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30069) - you deserved it (5703)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML

#20174862
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (4660)

On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

#20147982
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29776) - you deserved it (9221)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML

#20167155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29779) - you deserved it (1835)

On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29766) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29720) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (1586)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States



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