Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (4354)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21063) - you deserved it (1541)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)
Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21040) - you deserved it (2573)
On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (1528)
On 11/15/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by WentInABush (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (4206)
On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (2061)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (942)
On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (2113)
On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (881)
On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States
Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (2598)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20785) - you deserved it (5946)
On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (3014)
On 11/23/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by RyanJarmanForPresident (woman) - United States
Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20642) - you deserved it (1489)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Mmkay1515 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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