Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10928) - you deserved it (18869)
On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10714) - you deserved it (4820)
On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10660) - you deserved it (7840)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10646) - you deserved it (2981)
On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I met up with a few old friends for some wine and munchies. The main topics of conversation were colonoscopies, lactose intolerance and specific symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. I'm sleeping over at one of their houses. Only 20 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10623) - you deserved it (1389)
On 11/29/2012 at 8:00pm - misc - by Randiluck (woman) - Canada
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10119) - you deserved it (20363)
On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10066) - you deserved it (14486)
On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (18026)
On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9293) - you deserved it (15639)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (25198)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8784) - you deserved it (22140)
On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada
Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (25108)
On 11/26/2012 at 11:52am - kids - by ekm86 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8463) - you deserved it (17920)
On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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