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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24700) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (3532)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (4964)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

#20131269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24651) - you deserved it (3228)

On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24602) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24585) - you deserved it (1822)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

#20104191
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24549) - you deserved it (1961)

On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (4405)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (2290)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

#20128171
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (6410)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm - misc - by preggersmcgee (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24399) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (1436)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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