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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

#20105847
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27797) - you deserved it (1692)

On 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by RIP (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27761) - you deserved it (1993)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML

#20106327
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (2446)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by working_as_usual (man) - United States (California)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27590) - you deserved it (6460)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (2195)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (2141)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27572) - you deserved it (17660)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27497) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, I received another letter of rejection from the university of my dreams. I got it the first time, but thanks for reminding me. FML

#20121056
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (2056)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:52pm - misc - by ThreeTimesUnlucky - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

#20116821
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (1860)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (3761)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)



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