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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, just for old time's sake, I decided to jump on my bed. I ended up hitting my head on the spinning fan and knocking myself unconscious. FML

#20114543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9174) - you deserved it (29183)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:45am - health - by lalalalainie - United States (California)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8978) - you deserved it (37154)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8636) - you deserved it (48859)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8432) - you deserved it (43055)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8371) - you deserved it (12553)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

#20103918
103 comments

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8119) - you deserved it (30338)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8101) - you deserved it (40320)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8080) - you deserved it (22217)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7836) - you deserved it (11565)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

#20129656
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7763) - you deserved it (28923)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7581) - you deserved it (23367)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)



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