Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7764) - you deserved it (38532)
On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7691) - you deserved it (14941)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by RedFox12 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7613) - you deserved it (11198)
On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7514) - you deserved it (28101)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7393) - you deserved it (16083)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7036) - you deserved it (50306)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6978) - you deserved it (32035)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6763) - you deserved it (50140)
On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6759) - you deserved it (36804)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6517) - you deserved it (19555)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6449) - you deserved it (23657)
On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States
Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6323) - you deserved it (21265)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6222) - you deserved it (20277)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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