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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (2884)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18893) - you deserved it (1804)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

#20108846
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (1072)

On 10/09/2012 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (1219)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18738) - you deserved it (1533)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you deserved it (1270)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18697) - you deserved it (5226)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18641) - you deserved it (2168)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18547) - you deserved it (1227)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

#20127131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18542) - you deserved it (1930)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18526) - you deserved it (1729)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML

#20110590
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18493) - you deserved it (7584)

On 10/10/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by hairynips (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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