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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (4568)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28249) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (2645)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28008) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27962) - you deserved it (4997)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

#20120633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (3278)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (4742)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

#20119594
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (1565)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27378) - you deserved it (2541)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (5021)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (2508)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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