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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML

#20099582
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25858) - you deserved it (1699)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:07am - work - by WaitedOut (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

#20127131
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25850) - you deserved it (2504)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

#20107056
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (5288)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25766) - you deserved it (2612)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (2856)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

#20104660
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (1787)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25614) - you deserved it (1543)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25579) - you deserved it (6604)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

#20128150
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (7732)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (1992)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (2652)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML

#20134512
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (3416)

On 10/26/2012 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25237) - you deserved it (1965)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)



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