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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (11804)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30561) - you deserved it (2310)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (1863)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (1655)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

#20075771
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (2332)

On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States

Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML

#20057380
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Becoming a commuter. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my estranged mother texted me saying, "Gran died, LOL." My grandmother and I were fairly close, so I was shocked and disgusted. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked if she knew what "LOL" meant. She did. FML

#20088350
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (1658)

On 09/25/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by burn in hell (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30026) - you deserved it (4683)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (3109)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

#20089553
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (2174)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:07pm - love - by sucker (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29750) - you deserved it (4574)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (9587)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia



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