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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (3728)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (1798)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31998) - you deserved it (3264)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31938) - you deserved it (2318)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (2505)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML

#20083004
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30830) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:54am - love - by Flighted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (6344)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

#20078825
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (2251)

On 09/19/2012 at 2:24am - intimacy - by annonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30147) - you deserved it (7366)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

#20077937
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29877) - you deserved it (2002)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by useyourownbed (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

#20057019
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (4066)

On 09/04/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by gingerbetty - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29561) - you deserved it (6522)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29428) - you deserved it (5087)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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