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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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September 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (109506) - you deserved it (8695)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84484) - you deserved it (17446)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (61973) - you deserved it (2458)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (58557) - you deserved it (2855)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (57876) - you deserved it (2530)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband asked me for permission to have an affair with his hot secretary. FML

#5086077 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (57472) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm - love - by mandinga (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

#5065139 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (57001) - you deserved it (1911)

On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (56725) - you deserved it (2968)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML

#5466337 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (54307) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/25/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

#5098537 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (54134) - you deserved it (4193)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (54096) - you deserved it (6455)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51899) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

#5541044 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (51578) - you deserved it (1632)

On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)