Monday 25 February 2013 
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Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46512) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41721) - you deserved it (2384)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you deserved it (5964)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (2261)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (4861)
On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (1333)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (5149)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25903) - you deserved it (2096)
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (2908)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25497) - you deserved it (2195)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25367) - you deserved it (5908)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (2788)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21145) - you deserved it (1546)
On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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