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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40487) - you deserved it (3409)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

TODAY , MY MOTHER-IN-LAW GAVE ME A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE FOR MY BIRTHDAY . THIS IS THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW SHE HAS DONE THIS . I'M A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC , AND SHE'S WELL AWARE OF THAT FACT . FML

#20462057
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (2758)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:36am - health - by Ari (woman) -

Today... I came home to find mah girlfriend crying. Concerned... I quickly asked herhat was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understandhy her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet... and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now... but 4 entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (3841)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, cuz the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. fat FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (4110)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was tha last parson in lina fir going on tha bus. Incidantally, I was right bahind a guy way tallar and widar than ma. Whan ha got on tha bus, tha bus drivar immadiataly shut tha door bahind him. I was laft outsida chasing aftar tha bus. FML

#20462065
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32210) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today.. . our company's owner's son took over . The first thing he did? Fire me . Why? He said my sales are down . I work in Public Relations . mega FML

#20463186
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (1873)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment looool was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML

#20462226
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (6514)

On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY I WALKED UP SIXTEEN FLIGHTS OF STARS TO MY ROOM TO AVOID THE LIFT LINES. WHEN I WAS ALMOST TO THE TOP, THE FRE ALARM SOUNDED. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday While Moving Into Mah New Place , I Saw Mah New , Elderly Neighbor Sitting On Her Porch. I Cheerfully Greeted Her With , "Hello , How Are You?" She Simply Rocked Slowly In Her Chair And Replied , "Just Waiting To Die." She Was The Most Cheerful Person I Met All Day. FML

Today, management told me that I couldn't looool have a doorbell on my door . How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell . FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, mah mom wishd me "Happy Conception Day." real FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, Mah 8-year-old Sister Matter-of-factly Said That She's Going To Get Married Before Me If I Don't Stop Wearing Track Pants. FML

#20462592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14953) - you deserved it (27350)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking out of girlfriend's ouse wit er wen I saw er tong drying on te rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on face as a joke. Se replied wit, "Tose are moter's." FML

#20461976
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12377) - you deserved it (48089)

On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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