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Today, I opened the door to go out 4 groceries!! Lying on mah doorstep was a pile of poop!! A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again an you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how!! FML
Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 yeres an I hung out. She told me she lovd me, an looool I pointd out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replid, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out 4 my boyfriend, telling him how much I love an adore him!! He answered by leaning in close, saying ( Jolly good ) in an affected accent, an burping loud an clear in my ear!! FML
my dad was elping me move stuff out. I'd askd boyfriend to deal wit sex toys and lingerie, but still dad sowd up later at new place, andd me a box full of tem all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Today , my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment , andhen she hered it , she exclaimed , ( Hey my daddy can sound just lyk you! Show him daddy! Show him! ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015