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Wednesday 9 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked mah mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50435) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while askd me if I wantd to meet her in person . Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house . When she opend the door, she screamd and calld the cops on me . While detaind, she calld my phone asking why I never showd up today . FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (3002)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (4877)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, my son got his first tooth, an is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfed. FML

#20450046
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32904) - you deserved it (6134)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

I took mah boyfriend to meet mah parents. As he was loading his truck I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet and so the frst thing mah mom said to mah boyfriend was ( You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up. ) FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

TODAY, MAH ROOMMATE CAME BACK DRUNK FROM RUSHING FRATERNITIES. NORMALLY I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED, HAD HE NOT IMMEDIATELY PISSED AND THROWN UP EVERYWHERE AFTER ENTERING THE ROOM. IF ONLY I HAD MOVED MAH GUITAR AND THE SUITCASE FULL OF CLOTHE I HAD LEFT OUT AFTER RETURNING FROM BREAK. FML

Today, dad mada a voodoo doll out of a malon. Tis saams to appan a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (2416)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I broke up with mah boyfriend. After he left mah place, I realized he took mah Sonicare toothbrush cuz looool he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it.

#20450824
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16224) - you deserved it (30258)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

YESTERDAY I GOT GENUINELY ANNOYED AT MYSELF WHEN I REALISED I PROBABLY LACK THE SKILLS TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11995) - you deserved it (29896)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, at work, a littla grl cama in and askd if wa had any danca clothas. As I showd har, I askd if sha was in a compatition. Whan sha said yas, I crossd mah fingar and told har I hopd sha would win. Unfortunataly, I didn't cross tham proparly and I accidantally gava har tha fingar. FML

Today, I was laughing at a grl who really sucks at badminton . Turns out she has anger issues, an a really good aim when she's mad . I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before . FML

#20450098
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9996) - you deserved it (59549)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)



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